Saturday, April 21, 2012

Anxiety Journal

Last May my daughter Karly and I took a mixed media on canvas class - it's where I learned how to alter books and where I got my first look at a chockful journal - our instructor Cathy McMillan had several of her personal journals there.  I mean there was really personal information in there and she didn't mind us looking at it - that concept just floored me.  And it gave me a real boost to start my own journal.  I had never journaled consistently in my life before and I had been tossing around the idea that maybe journaling about my "issues" might help me deal with them. 

my issues are - a n x i e t y.  it can be crippling at times and most times it's completely irrational but it always feels beyond my control.  it had gotten so out of hand that I recognised that I was missing out on things because of my wild wild thoughts that went from worry to just plain stupid. 

I had every good intention to journal my feelings about my anxiety so I could figure out how to conquer it - or at least quiet it a bit ;)

journaling is not easy!!!  but I did think and ponder about it a lot - mostly while sitting with my mostly blank journal in front of me.  heh.  little by little I started figuring things out.  seems the more I plan and prepare the less anxiety I feel. 

good to know!!  less easy to actually implement but it's a start. 

I was working my way through learning all new techniques with new supplies - my artistic background was pretty much strictly watercolour and now I was using liquid acrylics and gel mediums and photos and transfers and collage materials etc.  And then....the spine of my book broke.  I had not known to use a sewn signature as opposed to a glued book.

aha.  this is a good learning moment - but really disappointing because I kind of abandoned my anxiety journal.  Every time I looked at it - I got sad. 

But this past weekend I saw a journal Karly had rescued from the same fate - she cut it up and tidied up the glued ends and punched holes and used metal rings to hold it all together.

what an awesome fix for my first and very important journal.....

I also got busy and painted the cover in the style of my play page - I just love the terrific texture created by squishing the wet Gessoed covers together and pulling them apart!!

Here are a few page spreads that I had completed before the book broke. 

Not all my entries deal with anxiety - but I was having so much fun making pretty pages ;)

I have many more blank Gessoed pages to fill up with backgrounds and journaling.  After almost a year of journaling experience I feel much more confident and very excited to explore my anxieties deeper!! 

Do you have themed journals?  Care to share your thoughts?  I'd love to hear what you are thinking!


  1. As someone who also struggles with anxiety, I love the idea of an anxiety journal. I'm so glad you were able to save yours. Your pages are wonderful, truly stunning. Thank you so much for sharing so much with us Emily. xxxxx

    1. thank you Lorinda! It can be scary to share - but ultimately it helps me to be open and honest - I learn things about myself I wouldn't otherwise. It is also nice to hear from others with "issues" - maybe we can help each other through our challenges.

  2. I love the idea of a themed journal. I want to do a procrastination journal . . . someday.

    So good to see you creatin' and producin', Emily! I've missed you!

    1. ha! I am pretty darn good at procrastination too ;) I've missed you too Debra!! thanks so much for stopping by!!