Loads of playing going on....

I haven't had a lot of dedicated time at my art desk lately but the time I have spent there has been very productive and a little bit scattered with nothing quite being "done" 

some fun new airbrush paints I tried in my new Strathmore journal - with some quick random doodling still in progress.  a page in my wine journal - painted with the labels glued in but no journaling yet.  I better get to it or I will forget my impressions of the wine!!

I really needed to journal this past week and got it all out on several journal spreads but both of these pages still need some embellishments I think...

 
some more journaling - upper left - this one in my anxiety journal.  I really like that page with the handcut vintage book page scrolls.  a spread in my newest altered book journal - with a gel transfer that I am really pleased with - I love how my  dress is a floral pattern similar to how I draw flowers....so neat!!

I started my cards to hand out for Mothers Day - with a collage on watercolour paper.  I am not sure where these are going just yet - most likely paint and mark making with a gel transfer over top - just not sure if I am going to use a photo for the transfer or maybe my doodles.....

If you are wondering about how many cards I am making here...no - I don't have a large amount of mothers ;)  I like to hand out either gifts or cards to the mothers I know which includes my sisters :)

Not photographed were the 3 journals that I Gessoed the covers in preparation for paint and collage etc.  I am super excited to work on those because it's always such fun to make a cover :) 

creating is good.  it keeps me happy :)

Gas Leaks and stuff.....

So it's been a challenging week.  I've been fighting an old furnace for over a week now and the latest bout was actually a gas leak from a repair done last week.  Yikes!!  Finding a gas leak does NOTHING to help my anxiety.  I am constantly sniffing and freaking Elle out by saying "is that gas?!!"

oh boy. 

Assorted (new) physical ailments and spring allergies - have rounded out my week to make it quite interesting. And if you were here you would hear the sarcasm in my voice.

 I also decided to make THE appointment.  The appointment with my doc to discuss meds for my depression.  I have been fighting it for a few years now but I am pretty much tired of living life halfway and need to get help.

On the bright FUN side - I've become inspired by Tammy at Daisy Yellow - she has been working with airbrush paints in her altered journals.  I bought myself some  and I am going to go have some fun!!

I haven't had much of a chance to do much journaling this week - but I have been doodle drawing a lot....I finally remembered to scan before colouring!!! This drawing is in my large Moleskine ....

I have been working on and off on this drawing for weeks- if not months and it's time to colour it up!!

Family Inheritance

This post has been sitting in Draft for many many days now. 

I guess it's sometimes tough to lay out my emotions.  Either that or I am lazy ;)

Seriously though, stigmas concerning mental illness make me angry - I am trying to change that.

This is in my Anxiety Journal - an appropriate place for it. 

My usual method of working in my journals is creating several backgrounds in one sitting having fun with paint, collage, gel transfers etc.  Then when I feel the urge to journal I flip through my book to see which page calls to me and fits my mood.  I have never created a page from start to finish in one sitting - until this page.

On this page was a failed - in my mind - attempt at using an image transfer - it was an inkjet copy used with self leveling gel - it didn't work.  The image smudged, the image wore off, it didn't work to my satisfaction at all.  You couldn't even recognise faces - my Geda holding me with my Baba and my older sister Carol.  I love this pic - there is a cow in the background!!  Anyway, one day I was playing around with some crackle paint and spread some over the pic to see if it would improve it.  Much to my delight it did!  I got out my Distress ink - vintage photo - and spread it around the edges. 

All of a sudden something clicked.  This page with my grandparents illustrated deep thoughts that had been on my mind for quite sometime.  The genetic aspect of anxiety and mental illness.  I have suffered from anxiety all my life and depression on and off for over 20 years.  Mental illness - both diagnosed and undiagnosed is prevalent on both sides of my family.  It is daunting to think what I have passed on to my daughters. I am not blaming or taking blame - just acknowledging the very real family history.

I got out my swirly stencil and my trusty Tri-Art Transparent Brown liquid acrylic.....

I had a greenish background in my head - I used Green Gold and Titanium White - not completely covering the page - just here and there....

Whoa!!  too limey yellow - toned it down with some light blue.....first sponging it on and then blending and rubbing some off with a baby wipe....

not quite the colour I was going for....I wanted to push it back a bit....I swear I owned Paynes grey - I must have taken it to leave in Phoenix at Carol's house.  So I improvised - picking out a more neutral blue and a grey - again sponging on and then wiping off with a baby wipe...

ahh yes....Titan Buff!!  the awesome colour that just kind of pulls everything together for me.  A fairly solid layer sponged on and then immediately water drops from my fingers sprayed all over.

After waiting a minute or two to let dry a bit - dabbed off with a tissue and then when almost dry I rubbed with same tissue to buff and weather it a bit.

The page titled itself - Family Inheritance.  I used rubber stamps with a sepia liquid acrylic.

Thank you for indulging me.  I believe by initiating discussion we can break down those old ideas about mental illness and maybe we can start to heal. 

My sister Carol is coming over today to work in our journals - it is going to be a great day!!

Anxiety Journal

Last May my daughter Karly and I took a mixed media on canvas class - it's where I learned how to alter books and where I got my first look at a chockful journal - our instructor Cathy McMillan had several of her personal journals there.  I mean there was really personal information in there and she didn't mind us looking at it - that concept just floored me.  And it gave me a real boost to start my own journal.  I had never journaled consistently in my life before and I had been tossing around the idea that maybe journaling about my "issues" might help me deal with them. 

my issues are - a n x i e t y.  it can be crippling at times and most times it's completely irrational but it always feels beyond my control.  it had gotten so out of hand that I recognised that I was missing out on things because of my wild wild thoughts that went from worry to just plain stupid. 

I had every good intention to journal my feelings about my anxiety so I could figure out how to conquer it - or at least quiet it a bit ;)

journaling is not easy!!!  but I did think and ponder about it a lot - mostly while sitting with my mostly blank journal in front of me.  heh.  little by little I started figuring things out.  seems the more I plan and prepare the less anxiety I feel. 

good to know!!  less easy to actually implement but it's a start. 

I was working my way through learning all new techniques with new supplies - my artistic background was pretty much strictly watercolour and now I was using liquid acrylics and gel mediums and photos and transfers and collage materials etc.  And then....the spine of my book broke.  I had not known to use a sewn signature as opposed to a glued book.

aha.  this is a good learning moment - but really disappointing because I kind of abandoned my anxiety journal.  Every time I looked at it - I got sad. 

But this past weekend I saw a journal Karly had rescued from the same fate - she cut it up and tidied up the glued ends and punched holes and used metal rings to hold it all together.

what an awesome fix for my first and very important journal.....

I also got busy and painted the cover in the style of my play page - I just love the terrific texture created by squishing the wet Gessoed covers together and pulling them apart!!

Here are a few page spreads that I had completed before the book broke. 

Not all my entries deal with anxiety - but I was having so much fun making pretty pages ;)

I have many more blank Gessoed pages to fill up with backgrounds and journaling.  After almost a year of journaling experience I feel much more confident and very excited to explore my anxieties deeper!! 

Do you have themed journals?  Care to share your thoughts?  I'd love to hear what you are thinking!